Why the silence and thinking Plato
I abandoned this blog because blogging was originally introduced to me by my most long-standing friend. I betrayed her by having an affair with her best friend. She's never talked to me since.
Hence the reason for my silence. For losing my words, in my head and my heart. I hoped she'd come back, but time has shown that that is not to be.
Yet, someone said life is not just about one thing. For instance focusing only on a bad relationship and deriving all meaning from it for the rest of your life is not the way to be. In fact focusing on working on other aspects of life in the midst of a bad situation can work its way back into the bad parts of your life and instill some good in it.
I got this idea from Plato's 'the union of goodness'. What he meant is that goodness can harmonise various aspects of life. What is the pragmatic application of this ideal? Improving one's knowledge can help one's parenting skills. Improving one's courage can help a person be a better friend. Searching for truth in writing can help one be truthful to oneself, to one's friends.
Having been through bad and unhappy relationships in the past, this idea really got me. When I became very distressed following the end of my first relationship, looking back, I realise that at the time I had imparted all my value in her. I did not exist apart from her. And the healing process that followed the loss was largely derived from learning to find value in myself, in the rest of life that was not all invested in a single person.
Right now I am in the last stages of my Phd. Even when I don't work on it, and especially when I don't work on it, all my sense of value and being is around my thesis. In my dreams, in my quiet times, the constant worry and anxiety rails at me like a christmas time scrooge, pointing its accusing fingers at me.
How can I apply Plato's harmonisation of good to this situation? I don't feel motivated to write my Phd right now because it feels like some parts of my life are out of control. Well I decided to start back on this blog for one. This blog does not need to be only about lost words from a lost friendship. Perhaps someone other than my lost friend, who is feeling lonely or unproductive on a gray day might come across this blog, and feel the same as I did about Plato's thoughts.
I can also learn courage. Courage to open a blank word document and let my mind flow with the content. Courage to hear scathing criticism on words I have labored over. Courage to have an idea and stand by the idea, to hear the opposite side of the argument and not flounder. Courage to open aspects of myself that allow growth in the process, to not be daunted.
I can learn endurance. Especially when it does not flow well, when every word typed feels like a boot caught in a muddy paddy field. To just stick at the unattractive, when the Phd stares at me with bleary, unfocused, scabbed eyes over coffee, to nurture it and keep the fires going.
Even in the worst of situations, there are muscles of strength that grow deep within our brains. We might feel horrible, even a failure in one thing, but we can look deeper to see what kind of harmonies that person or situation is creating within us. Later in life you'll be grateful for those muscles because lifting a 500 kg life experience might seem not really that hard at all.
Hence the reason for my silence. For losing my words, in my head and my heart. I hoped she'd come back, but time has shown that that is not to be.
Yet, someone said life is not just about one thing. For instance focusing only on a bad relationship and deriving all meaning from it for the rest of your life is not the way to be. In fact focusing on working on other aspects of life in the midst of a bad situation can work its way back into the bad parts of your life and instill some good in it.
I got this idea from Plato's 'the union of goodness'. What he meant is that goodness can harmonise various aspects of life. What is the pragmatic application of this ideal? Improving one's knowledge can help one's parenting skills. Improving one's courage can help a person be a better friend. Searching for truth in writing can help one be truthful to oneself, to one's friends.
Having been through bad and unhappy relationships in the past, this idea really got me. When I became very distressed following the end of my first relationship, looking back, I realise that at the time I had imparted all my value in her. I did not exist apart from her. And the healing process that followed the loss was largely derived from learning to find value in myself, in the rest of life that was not all invested in a single person.
Right now I am in the last stages of my Phd. Even when I don't work on it, and especially when I don't work on it, all my sense of value and being is around my thesis. In my dreams, in my quiet times, the constant worry and anxiety rails at me like a christmas time scrooge, pointing its accusing fingers at me.
How can I apply Plato's harmonisation of good to this situation? I don't feel motivated to write my Phd right now because it feels like some parts of my life are out of control. Well I decided to start back on this blog for one. This blog does not need to be only about lost words from a lost friendship. Perhaps someone other than my lost friend, who is feeling lonely or unproductive on a gray day might come across this blog, and feel the same as I did about Plato's thoughts.
I can also learn courage. Courage to open a blank word document and let my mind flow with the content. Courage to hear scathing criticism on words I have labored over. Courage to have an idea and stand by the idea, to hear the opposite side of the argument and not flounder. Courage to open aspects of myself that allow growth in the process, to not be daunted.
I can learn endurance. Especially when it does not flow well, when every word typed feels like a boot caught in a muddy paddy field. To just stick at the unattractive, when the Phd stares at me with bleary, unfocused, scabbed eyes over coffee, to nurture it and keep the fires going.
Even in the worst of situations, there are muscles of strength that grow deep within our brains. We might feel horrible, even a failure in one thing, but we can look deeper to see what kind of harmonies that person or situation is creating within us. Later in life you'll be grateful for those muscles because lifting a 500 kg life experience might seem not really that hard at all.
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